Horoscopes, fortune-tellers and palm readers all claim to be able to see into your soul at a glance. But nothing reveals the true nature of a person than their favourite cocktail at Christmas.
Every family is the same – and every member of it has their poison.
So, we’ve put together a list of the most decadent at-home cocktail kits that reveal the true identity of the person behind the drink.
For every twenty-something woman who will be hauling themselves home this year to enjoy Christmas with their (mostly) beloved relatives, we present you with the holy grail of drinks. The Espresso Martini.
We had to open with the drink that defines our ‘sophisticated’ twenties. It’s the question on everyone’s mind – what can I drink that will taste nice, allow me to get sufficiently sloshed, without sending me into a drunken slumber before 10pm? Well, here’s the answer.
If you’re struggling to find the energy to make it through another showing of It’s a Wonderful Life with your eldery grandparents this holiday season, this cocktail will give you that much-needed boost to see you through.
The Old Fashioned is the cocktail of an arrogant older brother, who has got his first job after graduation and is determined to prove to everyone that he is the epitome of sophistication. And each time he fills up his glass, he’ll delve a little deeper into his lecture to you on Help-To-Buy ISAs, the stock market, and the car he just bought on finance.
And do you know what? He almost pulls it off. That is, until he puts on his Reindeer onesie and has a tantrum about not receiving enough presents in his stocking.
(Spoiler, he’s thirty-two).
Not for those with a sweet tooth, an Old Fashioned is perfect for anyone who enjoys the taste of whisky, bitters, and a little touch of orange.
Stand aside Old Fashioned, because here comes the Big Daddy, a Whisky Sour. Not for the faint-hearted, the Whisky Sour comes with quite the flavour combination. Bold enough to not require a decadent glass to be served in, the Whisky Sour has the energy of a cold and aloof father-in-law, who has never quite warmed to you (despite your most desperate attempts).
Packed with a punch of lemon, bourbon and egg white,, this cocktail shouldn’t taste delicious but there is something about it that intrigues you. Which is why you’ll continue to laugh hysterically at all of your father-in-laws terrible jokes until the day he finally accepts you.
While you and your sisters are getting merrily sloshed on your third Espresso Martini, a sudden chill enters the room and the lights begin to flicker. Enter, the glamorous (but terrifying) Glamorous Aunt.
Dripping in class and smelling like a Jo Malone showroom, the Glamorous Aunt has the energy of a Seville Orange Negroni. She will quickly point out everything about you that makes you insecure. Cue questions about non-existent romantic partners, failed job interviews, and lack of a house deposit, followed by sympathetic looks and a stroke from a perfectly manicured finger.
Despite that, both the cocktail and your Aunt are easily the most attractive thing in sight, and will continue to dazzle and delight everyone that they come into contact with.
The Negroni’s adorable younger sister (and often, your beloved Mum), the Classic Gin & Tonic is a good-time gal. Just here to have fun, play Cluedo and eat some roast potatoes, any lover of this drink is a friend of mine.
Unfussy, clean, and straight to the point, you know where you stand with this cocktail, and you’ll never be disappointed. If you’re looking for the perfect crowd-pleasing cocktail this Christmas, you can never beat a classic.
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