Your own expectations for yourself can be really heavy on your own conscious, It’s like a lot of extra baggage and at an unnecessary cost. It’s extremely beneficial for us to not expect anything from others but it’s important we don’t put them expectations onto ourselves as well.
Expectations (within reason) aren’t a bad thing, they’re what influence us to get from A-B and inspire us to aim higher with the things we’re doing or things we plan to do, however unrealistic expectations are infact problematic and doing worse for us than good.
How to stop expecting too much from yourself & others
- Analyse your own expectations – Make realistic plans and goals – don’t go over ‘above & beyond’ and get disheartened when you can’t get there. Still aim high, just don’t overdo it and overwhelm yourself. You don’t need to be perfect!
- Stop comparing yourself to others – everyone has to measure themselves differently because we value things differently, we’re not the same people so why should we ‘expect’ the same to be happening to us? You’re not even the same person all of the time – you have good days & bad days, productive and even lazy days. It’s OK.
- Face facts and understand you can’t control absolutely everything that happens in your life, there are times when we are fully in control but times where we’re not at all. We are a product of our thoughts and actions so it’s important we create a clear positive mindset and learn to appreciate yourself and others for whatever happens, take it with a pinch of salt.
What to ‘expect’ when you’re not expecting nothing… Benefits of Minimising expectations
First of all, lets highlight the obvious. You’ll avoid negative feelings like disappointment, frustration and sadness. We normally set the bar pretty high for ourselves and we also reflect them expectations on other people too and assume they’ll do the same. None of us want to set ourselves up to be let down so minimising our expectations instantly prevent us from unwanted feelings.
You’ll learn to be present – You won’t be able to compare your reality to your planned ‘expectations’ – instead of always anticipating what’s going to happen next and wondering why you’re not at a certain point in your life or why you’re not doing what ‘others’ are doing you’ll start to appreciate being present with now and accepting things the way they are is the most rewarding feeling, You’ll make all your decisions one-by-one – it’s pretty exciting actually, You’ll be surprised with the outcomes.
You will form better relationships (with others and yourself) – The second we stop ‘expecting’ things from ourselves and others we will establish boundaries and you’ll form Inner peace. It’s perfectly human to assume others will do for us what we do for them, but we must not get caught up with a mountain of situations we over analyse.
Allowing relationships with friends, partners & family members and even colleagues to be unique will make us recognise their personal differences and key attributes, you become more abundant with their individuality and your personal connections. Don’t forget the reason you originally formed a relationship and work with that – don’t expect something that’s not them.
Think about all of the ‘problems’ in your life and ask yourself if they’re genuine problems or if they’re down to your expectations, Have you told yourself you’ll have something or be in a certain place and not been realistic with your goals? Are you disappointed with someone because you’ve expected them to do or say something?
Expectations are a powerful concept so make sure you’re a little more mindful when setting them.