It seems that from the minute you get pregnant, you open yourself up for a barrage of unsolicited advice and comments. Suddenly EVERYONE has an opinion and it’s about you. This can often make us question ourselves, feel a bit down or just downright annoyed, so I today I wanted to share some things new Mums actually want to hear – Afterall, the Internet needs a dose of positivity right now!
When Violet was born, one of my main worries was that I wouldn’t know what to do. I’d never changed a nappy, fed a baby or even held a baby. I had visions of me dropping her, not supporting her fragile neck or not knowing what to do when she screamed. However, when she was born it wasn’t like that at all – my intuition kicked in. I soon realised it was because she felt like an extension of me and I just knew how to care for her. Of course, I still had questions ( a LOT of questions) but mother nature did give me a good head start with my intuition at least. Phew.
One of my friends said to me ‘You are such a natural Mum’ and it was everything I needed to hear and more. Any niggles I had just melted away and I was given the boost I needed to say ‘yes I am getting this parenting thing, I can do it’.
So today I thought I’d share a selection of things new Mum’s actually want to hear. If you’ve got a friend who’s a new Mum, instead of just cooing over the baby, try one of these too!
“You are doing just fine” – being a new Mum is such a confusing time, you are suddenly thrust into the unknown, knowing you are on the right track can be so reassuring.
“You don’t need to explain yourself” – There are so many choices as a parent, from breast/bottle feeding, cosleeping, sleep training, weaning and more – not everyone will have the same opinion as you and lots of people will have a different parenting style but you shouldn’t feel you need to explain or justify your reasons. You do you.
“Mother knows best” – and honestly, you really do. Believe in yourself and trust your instincts, don’t listen to unsolicited advice, especially if it’s from someone you met online or in the street!
“I’m proud of you” – Often the attention is all around the baby when visitors come, let the Mum (and their partner!) know how amazing they are!
A bit of honesty – “I struggled with this too, I cried in the night, I had no idea what to do, I understand you” – Knowing you aren’t alone in your struggles can mean the world.
“I’ll make the drinks!” or “can I do anything around the house to help out” – I know visitors are really there for the newborn snuggles, but it’ll mean more than you realise if you offer to lend a hand. Just a cup of tea or hanging out a basket of laundry can really go a long way.
So, if you have a new-mum friend, maybe tell her she’s amazing, she’s doing a great job and lift her spirits – and if you want to buy her a present, don’t bring a babygrow or a bottle of prosecco, a homemade lasagna was the best present we ever received!