One of the latest sex trends to arise in 2020 is the idea of the “sex haze”, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: a haze that descends on your brain after you have sex, connecting that moment with a level of intimacy, attraction, and emotion that isn’t necessarily there.
Essentially, this means that even if you can logically realise that the person you’re sleeping with is the mist god awful human being on the planet, wouldn’t give him water if he was on fire kinda guy, you’ll still somehow convince yourself he’s “The One” after you have sex.
Also known as “sex poisoning”, it’s the “state of being convinced after intimacy that you have romantic interest in someone you objectively do not”. I know, we’ve all been there. It starts with an innocent hook-up, then you’re bragging to your mates you’ve found the guy of your dreams, and then three months down the line you wake up with a start and realise actually, this guy is an ASSHOLE. Like genuine, certified, lowest of the low, bare minimum Twitter kinda guy.
Still confused? Carrie from Sex in the City sums it up perfectly: “You’ve fallen into the sex haze. Where the sex is really great and you start acting like a crazy person. You imagine the relationship is something it’s not”.
The sex haze is nothing more than an excuse to brush off their poor behaviour, in a time when you’re inclined to see the best in them anyway. The honeymoon stage is that moment of the relationship where everything is perfect, so if the sex is also banging, then who cares if he’s said something a little questionable about Brexit, or you’ve raised your eyebrows more than once when he starts discussing the “problems with feminism”.
As relationship expert/coach Jenna Ponaman puts it, the sex haze occurs when “emotions are at their all-time high, where an allusion is created that you have met your match in every way possible. Things are seemingly perfect, and this person can do no wrong. However, what usually happens is that all of the qualities and things that you originally held at high value in a relationship can easily become undermined or swept under the rug”.
Don’t get me wrong, it can be a great time – as long as you don’t confuse it for love. The likelihood is, if you’re stuck in the sex haze, then the rest of the relationship just isn’t living up to your standards – subconsciously or not – which means this isn’t your Prince Charming. Stick with it for the ride and have a good time, but don’t close yourself off to anything else. This isn’t love, and at some point in the near future you’re going to realise this with a bang (lol).