Featured Posts

What Can We Take From 2020?
As we eagerly embraced a new decade almost a year ago, full of positivity and aspirations for the year ahead, we were blissfully unaware of what lay ahead. No one was prepared for 2020...
View Post
The Ultimate Goal Setting Guide for 2021
Setting goals and working towards something specific is the key to success. Here’s how to set goals in 2021...
View Post
A Productive Start To The Year
Life should be about finding a balance that's right for you. There will be times when the pressure is on, and you need to put the hours in. Just don't make a habit of it.
View Post
What will happen to the fashion industry post covid-19?
Fashion is an industry which thrives on people being together- from huge worldwide showcases in Paris, Milan and New York to the most exclusive backstage parties attended by fashions elite.
View Post
To top
14 Feb

Friendships and the Millennial Mum

Being a new mum can be an incredibly daunting time – not only have you got this new bundle of joy to keep alive, you feel overwhelmed, your life no longer resembles anything you have experienced before and you are so, so exhausted. You are awake in the deepest depths of the night, a zombie in the day, you feel your house is a mess and your life revolves around an endless cycle of feeding, naps, laundry – it can feel like you are just trying to stay afloat. Don’t worry – that’s normal. 

It’s not surprising that friendships begin to change to how they were before. Gone are the days of nights out, prosecco and dancing, this truly is a new chapter and sadly, not everyone will be in for the ride. For me, it seems my friends divided into two groups – everyone seemed ecstatic for us that Violet had arrived but slowly but surely a few faces who had been a big part in my life seemed to drift away into the distance – never to be seen again.

The friends that stuck around really showed up –  they were the ones who turned up at my door with homemade lasagne, a shoulder to cry (sleep) on, offering to help out, hold the baby, make the tea – they didn’t care my pajamas had baby sick on and I hadn’t applied mascara in days – I knew they were with me for the long run. Those moments meant the world.

As for the friends that didn’t stick around, it stings – don’t get me wrong. Often I’d be sitting feeding my baby in the night feed when a picture of all my friends out together without would pop up on Facebook – that packs a low punch but a sweet smile from that baby will cure all, trust me. Over time, I’ve come to see it that we walked towards a crossroads together and then chose different paths, that’s all. It’s a shame and it sad, but it happens I don’t have bad feelings towards them.

Now, with a smaller selection of close friends than ever before, there is also the minefield of making new Mum friends. If you thought school or going on a blind date was bad, walking into a new baby group can be terrifying –  everyone sitting around chatting like they’ve got their act together when inside everyone is feeling exactly like you.

The thing I’ve learned about making new Mum friends is that you’ve just got to bite the bullet and do it. I found myself asking ‘I’m thirty-four years old, why is it THIS HARD to ask her for a coffee’ but you just have to suck it up and put yourself out there – ask for a number, add her on Facebook, make contact as I guarantee that 99% of the time, they’ll be just as pleased to hear from you and to have made a new friend. Plus, think of all the tea and cake you’ll share!

So, I may have won some, I may have lost some, I may have had to push my boundaries and show more vulnerabilities than ever before, but I’ve certainly learned that those who have stuck by you through everything or joined you along the way are here for the long run. So don’t feel shy to reach out, ask for help, lean on them or let them lean on you – they are your people so cherish them!

Lyndsay Gardner

I’m Lyndsay, a blogger, Instagrammer, freelance writer and one half of a same-sex family with two daughters, Violet (2) and Pearl (1). You’ll usually find me with my laptop under one arm and a toddler under the other. It’s fair to say my hands are full but coffee usually gets me by!

No Comments

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Subscribe to Cohorted Cult

JOIN THE CULT​

We’ll keep you up to date on hot topics and industry news. You’ll be kept up to date on a need to know basis on all things culture, you won’t want to leave…

Subscribe now!

flowers

TREAT SOMEONE SPECIAL...
GET £10 OFF BLOOM & WILD WITH CODE 'CH38AP'