I’ve been through breakups before, but this was a uniquely heart-breaking pain that spread through my entire body and felt like it was never going to get better. There was simply nothing I could do to take my mind off of it or distract myself. I couldn’t get dressed up to go out and flirt with people for a confidence boost, I couldn’t take myself on dates to fall in love with being single all over again, I couldn’t even cuddle my best friends as we cried our way through The Notebook. My only option was to sit and embrace the pain, with his name going around on repeat in my mind as I checked his Insta for the fourth time that day (we all do it I refuse to feel ashamed for this), and I’ve truly never felt so isolated or alone.
I know I’m not alone in this. In fact, about 1 in 10 people found that lockdown and restrictions caused them to break up with their partner, and while there’s no denying that breaking up with someone is always painful, facing this reality in the middle of a pandemic can make this 10 times worse. In fact, Holly Roberts, a relationship counsellor, says the most important thing to do is “to not underestimate what a unique situation this is to break up in. It’s going to take you a while to process the situation [but] it’s really important to give yourself time and space to work through your emotions in as gentle a way as possible”.
There is a way through it, as there always is with situations like this. Suggest a walk, or a video call, or if you’re lucky enough to be in Tier 1 (looking at you Cornwall) then maybe even a pub lunch with friends. It’s about trying to do things little and often to slowly start to feel like yourself again, and allow yourself to feel the pain when it creeps back in. It might feel, now more than ever, like there are more bad days than good but the pain doesn’t last forever.
Plus, just think of the good things that come from this. You can’t get drunk and text him at 2am to come over, you’re probably not likely to run into him when you’re out and about, and with everyone sat at home with nothing to do, there are more fit lads on Hinge than ever before.
