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22 Jan

5 tips to help you heal after a breakup

Break ups are one of those things that everyone endures at some point in life and we all know just how painful they can be. If you’ve recently broken up with your partner, then you’re most probably going through a difficult and confusing time at the moment.

Although going through adversity can help you grow and become a better person, it can also make you forget to take care of yourself and your well-being. This can not only slow down your emotional recovery, but also have a detrimental effect on your physical and mental health.

Here are 5 tips to help you deal with the pain and start the healing process:

Give yourselves space and set boundaries

Emotions will most probably be running high straight after the break up and neither of you will be able to think clearly. More often than not, your first reaction may be to get back with each other and try again. The best decision in this case would be to establish healthy boundaries, get some space from each other and focus on processing your emotions first. Regardless of whether the relationship is truly over or not you would need a few weeks to assess the situation and get clarity. Don’t forget that you broke up for a reason.

Feel your feelings

Connect with yourself by feeling your feelings; you have to feel your pain in order to heal from it. Excessive drinking, binge eating, spending endless hours watching TV, pretending you’re fine and so on may temporarily numb the pain but it will numb the happiness too. Those are just coping mechanisms serving as distractions to help you run away from the negative emotions you’re experiencing. The more you ignore them, the bigger they will get.

Keep a journal

Journaling is a powerful way to deal with emotional wounds, and it is most probably one of the best coping strategies you can implement. Research has shown that expressive writing can increase positive emotions associated with a negative event and allow the person to process their feelings better. Just spending 15 minutes a day to reflect on your relationship and break up can bring new perspectives, provide a safe space to let your emotions out and help you identify ways to improve and grow as a person.


Exercise releases endorphins and endorphins make you happy! It may be the last thing you want to do but it can help improve your mood drastically. It will also help you gain confidence (which has most probably taken a hit!), and reduce stress. Even a 20-minute walk would be enough – anything that gets you out of the house and moving.

Read and research

This is the least obvious one but having a better understanding of what you’re going through will help you immensely. Watch videos of other people who have been through a break up, read blog posts about break ups and how people have dealt with them, and inform yourself on the changes our bodies go through when faced with adversity. Seeing that other people have gone through what you’re going through and have come out stronger will give you hope and show you you’re not alone in this.

Bobbi Banks

Bobbi Banks is a certified life and relationship coach, neuroscientist, and NLP practitioner who is well-known for her straight to the point, honest advice on life, love and relationships. She helps people build self-confidence and self-esteem, heal from past trauma, break old patterns and challenge limiting beliefs.

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